Last year, on Sunday, May 5th, I found out I was pregnant. Kind of. I mean, I took a few positive pregnancy tests, but it wasn’t until the next day and a total of 7 positive tests that I felt certain enough to tell Ian.
I consider both of my babies to be “surprise” babies, in the sense that they came into our lives at the most wonderful, unexpected times. With Luke, it was a phone call – “you’re parents!” and with Gracie, it was a positive pregnancy test. Or seven.
I remember the day so well – it was such a beautiful spring day; I read a book in my hammock seat while Luke napped. It wasn’t until during church that night that I realized something was amiss with my body. My monthly cycle was a week late, and I wondered – was it possible? Could I be pregnant? The thought hadn’t crossed my mind in so long. Or if it was a fleeting thought, my period would literally start within an hour of the thought crossing my mind.
But that didn’t happen. And when Ian went out for his guys’ night, I thought about having a little cinco de mayo beer while I crafted. But I couldn’t shake the thought that maybe something was up. So I hunted down some pregnancy tests that had come with the ovulation tests I had used way back in the day. All three of them came out positive. Like, really positive, but infertility can play tricks on your mind, so I was really hesitant to believe them. The expiration date was over 2 years old, so logically I blamed that. I decided to wait until the next day and pick up a couple tests at the dollar store.
Strangely, I was able to go about my night without going online to check out pregnancy symptoms or whatnot (if I had, I probably would have realized what was going on). Sure, it was on my mind, but I was so set on not being disappointed and getting my hopes up, that I really just tried to assume that I was not pregnant.
The next day was another gorgeous day. Luke and I stopped at the dollar store, where I picked up a couple more tests and some random item to make things less awkward at the checkout (right…). Then we headed off to my mama’s group. It was at a friend’s house, and the kiddos played in the yard while us mama’s hung out on the deck eating strawberries and chatting about summer plans. Occasionally my mind wandered to the pregnancy tests sitting in the trunk of my car. Maybe…
During Luke’s nap that afternoon, I took one more “expired” test and the two dollar store ones. All positive. I decided that after Luke’s nap we’d head to Rite Aid to buy a more expensive one. And if that one came back positive that evening, then maybe I really was pregnant. And if so, I should probably tell Ian at that point.
Sure enough – I really was pregnant. Ian and I were both so surprised and shocked, it took months for it to truly sink in. But really, I feel like I’ve just lived a whole year in wonder and awe and thankfulness at this gift we’ve been given. Like every single day.
The months prior to finding out about Gracie were so frustrating to me – we wanted to grow our family, but were having the hardest time sensing God’s direction as far as which adoption route to take. It was only during Lent that I finally took a break from trying to discern a direction and just wait. And then quietly and suddenly, our family grew.
And a year later, we have our Gracie Kate. Absolutely amazing.